Secrets

The English alphabet consists of twenty-six letters. Anyone with common sense would then expect there to be 26 different sounds. This, however, is not the case. The number of sounds that actually exist are twenty-four (The number isn't that far off, but is hardly the point). The reason is that there are three letters that posses the exact same sound: C, K, and Q. This is just the beginning.

This group of symbols, which was compiled gradually over thousands of years, is downright repugnant. It's redundant, as I've already demonstrated, and it's also majorly uncreative. There are nine letters with names containing the long E sound: B, C, D, E, G, P, T, V, and Z. The letters H and I are simply ninety-degree rotations of each other. F is just an E with a missing foot; same thing with P and B just with a bigger foot. And W......W!.....*growls* If this letter was a man he would need to be hung on a cross and have his fingers horse torn one by one while enjoying some nice subcutaneous pedal cauterization.

I'll begin with comparing its name to its shape. Name: double U. Shape: double V. What the hell is that?! I personally write my Ws as two Us and I hope you do as well. Second, it's the only letter with more than one syllable (I'll talk more about this later). Lastly, I really don't care for the idea of doubling a letter and then giving the result the title of being a letter of its own.

From what I understand though, it used to be shaped like two Us, but the doubled V version became the common usage when it was introduced to England during the Norman Invasion which took place in the late 11th century CE. Even so, the letter is a bit superfluous.

How about the vowels now? The only one I've mentioned so far is E. Really the only problem I have with the vowels is the crap about the letter Y being considered one in special circumstances. Let's take a look at some words where this is the case: Mary, myth, candy, hymn, dusty, empty......are you picking up on something?......That's right! Every time it's considered a vowel it takes the sound of a vowel that already exists! It makes no unique sound of its own when considered a vowel! Simply more redundancy!

One last thing I want to talk about is the syllable thing I mentioned earlier. Why couldn't we have cool multi syllable names like the Greeks did? (Many other cultures have multi syllable letter names as well, but the Greeks had the coolest names) We have A, they have Alpha; we have O, they have Omicron. This is obviously nothing major, but it just further shows how lame our alphabet really is. So, with that, I'll leave you with an alphabet that isn't as exorbitant:
A B D E F G H I J K L M N O P R S T U V X Y Z